A Different Take on Casual Dating
More often than not, the term “casual dating” immediately solicits violent reactions and negative connotations, especially when thrown around loosely and heard by those who do not exactly understand how it works. But in truth, casual dating was once very much accepted and adopted in many social circles, especially during the post-virginal era and just before the eighties set in. The idea of casual dating, however, soon took a back seat when the concept of “go with me” came about and commitment became a priority concern for many.
Unfortunately, not a lot of people fully understand the benefits of going casual. With casual dating, everyone is given the chance to check out the options, learn, get experience, make mistakes along the way, and yet be able to recover without having to deal with the trauma of separation. For those who grew up in the eighties and nineties who are now moving in together in such a short span of time of being together do not see the importance of taking it slow and seeing things from a different perspective. It helps to be given the liberty to pull back and reassess the relationship before jumping right in.
Casual dating only works if both parties are honest. It is better to be upfront with the person you’re dating about your true intentions so that right from the start, they already have the chance to decide whether they’re in the right frame of mind to accept the non-exclusivity of your partnership. Although the romantic ideal of falling in love with just your one great love is still there, there are actually a lot of women who are very open to the idea of casual dating, especially if they feel that they haven’t met the right one yet. There is actually nothing wrong with enjoying the company of other people and learning from each other. Besides, why agonize over the long wait when you can have some fun as you go along?
However, the dangers in casual dating arise when both parties are not completely honest about their expectations and intentions. There is the possibility that she will freak out when she realizes that you are not being faithful to the expectations she has set in mind. Or worse, she might even feel used when she finds out that you are moving on to another relationship without her. Ultimately, the key here is honesty. The emotional stress of being involved with someone you trusted with your heart yet only used you is hard for a woman to bear. Those who have been victims of this usually become guarded in their next relationships. It is possible that paranoia and doubt may cloud a woman’s judgment after going through a traumatizing experience such as this.
Although it seems complicated at first, casual dating can actually be very simple. Your female friends can be advisers when it comes to giving truthful opinions about your notions and beliefs on relationships. Having a good friend from the opposite sex can help you understand better how women like to be treated, which can be very helpful to you when the right woman comes along.
One thing you should remember about casual dating is that you should keep your feelings and the direction you are heading in check at all times. Casual dating doesn’t automatically translate into casual sex. There is a big difference between casual dating and entering into a sexual relationship wherein there is absolutely no emotional involvement. Not all women easily give in to casual sex, but in casual dating, there is a possibility that a woman may eventually grow into it over time.
Men, however, are more inclined to associating casual dating to casual sex, thinking that both mean the same thing. Whatever the situation is, there is a need for involved parties to come to terms before getting ahead of themselves. It helps to settle and clarify beforehand what the score is between the two, and how you plan to move forward. That is why disagreements are impossible to avoid in any relationship. One party may feel hurt when boundaries are violated. This is where strong communication comes in.
In this setup, there is always the possibility that you or the other person will find that the old feelings are starting to change. It happens that one may start developing strong emotional feelings for the other, or it could also be that one is losing interest and decides not to move forward with the relationship. Whatever the case, it is imperative that these changes should be addressed immediately. Rarely does anyone get involved with someone and not develop feelings, especially when there is sex involved. It happens sooner or later than is expected. There is the possibility of it being mutual, yet in some cases, it can be one-sided. If it is the latter, then it would be best for both parties to hold off on the relationship until new terms can be agreed on. This scenario can be unfair and difficult for both, especially for the one who is developing those committed relationship feelings.
For women, this idea of casual developing first developed when they learned the value of going to the restroom in groups. Somehow the bathroom has become a place where women converge to size up their dates, and assess and determine for each other the value of the guy they each brought along on the date. Most of the time, they talk about whether the guy is worth taking home or when it would be best return phone calls after the guy is replaced by someone much better. Women now have the prerogative to decide who she likes to spend her time with and how far she’s willing to go. She may, however, run into a couple of roadblocks, such as resistance to her lack of commitment from family members. For a woman to keep you in her casual company longer, it’s best to make her feel secure and protected whenever you’re around.
